Saturday, January 9, 2010

dreaming of twigs and small bodies left behind

at one time, my dreams preoccupied me and were the fountain of much of my creative energy. i would tease sinews of sentiment and the incongruent motion of events from them and reconstruct them into emotional truths.


however, these days, languishing in bed is a rare pastime for me and thus, i rarely enable myself to wrap myself in my dreams, in such a way as to cultivate their presence into my waking world.


anyway, last night i dreamt vividly. enough that i couldn't loose the vividness of the moment.


the dream:


it was brief. 


mia (my wife), ash (my son) and i were having a sort of a picnic huddled under a tree.


food was very scarce and our lives had become very small. i had made the decision that we weren't going to sustain this life anymore. our eating was to become a little pretend game.


with a small stick i drew a grid in the dirt. this was to represent our meal.


ash began to eat and then, looking down at the choices available to him, and sifting his hand through a pile of a broken twigs that had been placed in one of the grid squares he said: "dad, these are all carbohydrates. we need to eat protein too."


i looked down at the ground and my eyes caught sight of some miniature fur cones. could they be boiled and then become somehow representative of a protein?


but then, i suddenly realized that this small boy wanted to keep his body alive. i put my head in my hands and began to weep hysterically repeating: "i can't leave my little guy behind . . . i can't leave my little guy behind."


i was repeating this when i woke myself up.

4 comments:

  1. I just saw The Road last night. It was more powerful than your dream.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i can imagine. i read The Road over the summer and clearly this was some kind of an internalization of that story. funny that you saw that movie last night. . . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brrr.


    Must.
    Find.
    Proteins.
    For.
    Little.
    Ones.

    ReplyDelete